Dry Nipples...

That probably wasn't the sexy or yummy post you were expecting, huh?

It all started when I was reading my book today: The Known World by Edward P. Jones. Now I know this post is supposed to be about nipples but I must take a moment to how much I've liked this novel so far. If you've ever read and/or closely analyzed Toni Morrison's Beloved in a class (or any of her other books, for that matter), you may have found yourself, like hundreds of thousands (and perhaps millions) of other readers, in awe of her mastery of words and her prowess for constructing beautiful prose and symbolism. This book is also about one family's slave story and is often compared to her work so definitely check it out not if, but when, you have time. Toni Morrison will always be first in my mind so Jones's book, in my opinion, is not comparable to her work. But he does an amazing job of portraying a complex portrait of the social network in an extended family of slaves and their tightly knit community. And there's a big twist too: the master family in this novel is black so in addition to the issue of slaves, there's also the issue of enslaving "your own people".

Anyways, back to the chapped nipples. I was holding my book in one hand as I read along and, as often happens, my free hand wandered into my shirt and into my bra. I began stroking my nipples (its not like I ever get off on this...unless I'm reading erotica or someone else is pinching, licking and sucking my nipples), which are usually softer than a baby's bottom. Circling the smooth, normal skin of the breast until I usually zero in on an areola so silky that it doesn't even feel like skin at all--at least, not the way skin usually feels (unless you're usually touching your nipples...in which case...I don't know what to say except that I'm jealous).

I looked down to discover, to my dismay, that my nipples were chapped! I want mah sexy boobs back! Instead, the skin is flaky and dry. "Naturally", the first thing I thought to do was to google my condition; little known fact: almost all google search results for "chapped nipples" are for pregnant woman. I'm definitely not pregnant but looked at a few forums and heeded women's advice about cutting open capsules of vitamin E and rubbing the oil on my nipples. I sliced one open with a knife (I didn't even know there was vitamin E in my house but thank god, right?) and applied some to both: the oil smells like SHIT by the way. Betcha didn't know that either, huh? I sure hope it works...

And because this post is pretty much irrelevant to everything else, here's something to make it all up: The beautiful, non-chapped boobs of Justine Joli. See the rest of the super hot gallery here