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Once upon a time, I wasn't as sexually experienced as I am now. Not to say that I'm Mistress Matisse or anything but a couple years ago, I had never given head, had barely even had sex (much less in creative positions!), and thought anal sex was totally taboo territory. Back then, I was much more hesitant to explore my sexuality and my sexual boundaries, not so much because I thought my body was dirty or anything like that, but mostly because I didn't quite know where to begin. So I turned to reading about sex and other sexual escapades in articles online and by peeking at books in the "sexuality" section of book stores. (Good thing I at least had the good sense to refrain from sexually educating myself using the likes of Cosmopolitan and Elle! Although, let me confess a guilty pleasure here: now that I mostly read about sex in the context of erotica and not technical how-to guides, I do love reading newstand crap like Cosmo and Elle and Vogue...)
One of the best guides I've encountered so far is Paul Joannides' "Guide to Getting It On!". It's become something a classic, seeing as the size and shape of this enormous sex tome are somewhat akin to that of a bible. Inside, you'll find humorously written guides about the basics of intercourse, anal sex, sexual health, and everything else you could imagine about sex. Dr. Paul Joannides approaches sex from the perspective that it's not something that just happens between a man and a woman's or a woman and a woman's or a man and a mans's or...&c's sexual parts. Sex is an event and a psychological place that is to be carefully and consensually negotiated, whether you're just doing it for fun with a transient partner or you're doing it with the love of your life.
Despite the fact that it's about 700 pages in length, this extremely thorough guide is very easy to read. In fact, I sat down and finished it in one weekend. And at the end of this weekend? I was 700 pages more knowledgeable about my sexual possibilities. Granted, there was a huge week long power outage then, but still! If you're still looking for tips and tricks on how to get fellatio or cunnilingus just right, or how to work sex toys into your life, then this is definitely the book for you! Or hell, if you just need some good beach-side reading instead of that chicklit crap, turn to the Guide for Getting It On (if you flash the cover at cuties walking by, you may even get it on at the beach!).
But when all is said and done, this is probably one of the only sex guides that I've read cover to cover. Does anyone out there have favorites that they'd like to recommend?
That probably wasn't the sexy or yummy post you were expecting, huh?
It all started when I was reading my book today: The Known World by Edward P. Jones. Now I know this post is supposed to be about nipples but I must take a moment to how much I've liked this novel so far. If you've ever read and/or closely analyzed Toni Morrison's Beloved in a class (or any of her other books, for that matter), you may have found yourself, like hundreds of thousands (and perhaps millions) of other readers, in awe of her mastery of words and her prowess for constructing beautiful prose and symbolism. This book is also about one family's slave story and is often compared to her work so definitely check it out not if, but when, you have time. Toni Morrison will always be first in my mind so Jones's book, in my opinion, is not comparable to her work. But he does an amazing job of portraying a complex portrait of the social network in an extended family of slaves and their tightly knit community. And there's a big twist too: the master family in this novel is black so in addition to the issue of slaves, there's also the issue of enslaving "your own people".
Anyways, back to the chapped nipples. I was holding my book in one hand as I read along and, as often happens, my free hand wandered into my shirt and into my bra. I began stroking my nipples (its not like I ever get off on this...unless I'm reading erotica or someone else is pinching, licking and sucking my nipples), which are usually softer than a baby's bottom. Circling the smooth, normal skin of the breast until I usually zero in on an areola so silky that it doesn't even feel like skin at all--at least, not the way skin usually feels (unless you're usually touching your nipples...in which case...I don't know what to say except that I'm jealous).
I looked down to discover, to my dismay, that my nipples were chapped! I want mah sexy boobs back! Instead, the skin is flaky and dry. "Naturally", the first thing I thought to do was to google my condition; little known fact: almost all google search results for "chapped nipples" are for pregnant woman. I'm definitely not pregnant but looked at a few forums and heeded women's advice about cutting open capsules of vitamin E and rubbing the oil on my nipples. I sliced one open with a knife (I didn't even know there was vitamin E in my house but thank god, right?) and applied some to both: the oil smells like SHIT by the way. Betcha didn't know that either, huh? I sure hope it works...
And because this post is pretty much irrelevant to everything else, here's something to make it all up:
The beautiful, non-chapped boobs of Justine Joli. See the rest of the super hot gallery here
